When we think of 4th of July, we think of celebrations and get togethers.
Get togethers with family.
Get togethers with friends.
Get togethers with co-workers.
Get togethers with strangers.
It is a time of celebrations and fun.
A time to enjoy each others company.
A time to reminisce with those you have not seen in a while.
A time to enjoy the fireworks and festivities.
A time to enjoy parades.
A time to enjoy the children’s faces light up over seeing the fireworks show or writing their name out with their sparkler.
To put it simply, it is a time where everyone comes together to celebrate and have a good time.
When I think of the 4th of July it is now forever tainted with the memory of sitting in Mari’s hospital room last year at this same time and watching the beautiful fireworks displays from her hospital room window. Not realizing at the time that the very next day we would start to lose Mari forever. That the very next day her kidney’s would go into complete failure and the day after that she would have a stroke. 4th of July will forever be remembered by me as the last day with my beautiful baby girl & thinking my life was still ok.
I used to love the 4th of July with all of its glitter and shine and now all it brings me is sad memories and regret.
I know in time the pain will slowly ease but as of today it is just sadness.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
A Mother’s Love Never Fades
Life’s been a fog, a fuzzy, sad haze
As one year has come, a moment we dread
What in life can bring so much sadness
With lots of tears and feeling so empty
It’s a mother’s love and the loss of her child
The one that she bore and then buried 8 short years later
When her child was born, she had so much hope
Her child became part of her everything, making her life finally complete
Yet the child had autism, which changes her hopes and dreams
They included so many things, but a mother’s love is one strong force of nature
The dreams she once had of college and her child’s wedding,
Now had all shifted to communicating and her child’s safety
As the years went by, her child was so loved
But at the same time was harder to take care of
There were days of frustration and absolute sadness
She sometimes felt utter despair and total madness
Her child lived in their own little world
Dancing on the roof or in the street was quite the norm
Her child had no cares in their own perfect world
Always having their way and playing all day
The child was so happy, always laughing and singing
The child’s face was like an angelic angel which could make you laugh or sometimes cry
The mother thought it can’t get much worse than this
She had so many hard moments but her love for her child won in the end
The mother had no clue as to what was about to ensnare her
What she thought had been hard was nothing compared to this
Her life would forever change in one brief simple moment
As her child became sick with a simple case of diarrhea
Unfortunately for the mother there was nothing simple to this
It turned out to be E-coli and so much more complicated than could ever be imagined
The mother had to watch as her child deteriorated in front of her eyes
The child became lifeless and empty and could only lay in her bed
From a bright, vivacious child full of life, love and hope
To two weeks, two days later her child leaving for heaven in the sky
So it has been a year since the loss of her child
A year of utter sadness and emptiness always by her side
The emptiness she feels is never gone
All she does at night is wish this would go away
She still hopes this is all a bad dream
That tomorrow morning she will wake up and her precious will still be here
But tomorrow comes and she is still all alone
Her child is forever gone and she learns to live life all a new
The one thing that gives her solace is she will one day be reunited
Not in this life but in the here after
Her sadness will always be there, this is not hard to imagine
However, she learns to live life the best she can with those that love her by her side
So a year has gone by which is still hard to imagine
But in the end all is ok as a mother’s love continues on for all eternity
As one year has come, a moment we dread
What in life can bring so much sadness
With lots of tears and feeling so empty
It’s a mother’s love and the loss of her child
The one that she bore and then buried 8 short years later
When her child was born, she had so much hope
Her child became part of her everything, making her life finally complete
Yet the child had autism, which changes her hopes and dreams
They included so many things, but a mother’s love is one strong force of nature
The dreams she once had of college and her child’s wedding,
Now had all shifted to communicating and her child’s safety
As the years went by, her child was so loved
But at the same time was harder to take care of
There were days of frustration and absolute sadness
She sometimes felt utter despair and total madness
Her child lived in their own little world
Dancing on the roof or in the street was quite the norm
Her child had no cares in their own perfect world
Always having their way and playing all day
The child was so happy, always laughing and singing
The child’s face was like an angelic angel which could make you laugh or sometimes cry
The mother thought it can’t get much worse than this
She had so many hard moments but her love for her child won in the end
The mother had no clue as to what was about to ensnare her
What she thought had been hard was nothing compared to this
Her life would forever change in one brief simple moment
As her child became sick with a simple case of diarrhea
Unfortunately for the mother there was nothing simple to this
It turned out to be E-coli and so much more complicated than could ever be imagined
The mother had to watch as her child deteriorated in front of her eyes
The child became lifeless and empty and could only lay in her bed
From a bright, vivacious child full of life, love and hope
To two weeks, two days later her child leaving for heaven in the sky
So it has been a year since the loss of her child
A year of utter sadness and emptiness always by her side
The emptiness she feels is never gone
All she does at night is wish this would go away
She still hopes this is all a bad dream
That tomorrow morning she will wake up and her precious will still be here
But tomorrow comes and she is still all alone
Her child is forever gone and she learns to live life all a new
The one thing that gives her solace is she will one day be reunited
Not in this life but in the here after
Her sadness will always be there, this is not hard to imagine
However, she learns to live life the best she can with those that love her by her side
So a year has gone by which is still hard to imagine
But in the end all is ok as a mother’s love continues on for all eternity
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Approaching 11 months…
We are now approaching 11 months that Mari has been gone. June 16th will be exactly 11 months. Whether we want it to or not time just continues to carry on.
I was going through this site a little while ago and realized that I had not posted anything new since Mother's day. It has been hard this last month and I know as the day approaches the 1 year mark it will just continue to get harder. Then I was reading the comment that someone wrote annonomously. What the person said was basically that I sound depressed and that I need to get help before I drive everyone around me crazy. I could not believe what this person said. Either they do not understand that I am obviously going to be sad and I may even be depressed but was there any reason what so ever for this person to write that comment. All it did was hurt me. Or the only other reason I came comprehend why someone would write that is because this person is unfeeling and just did not care that it would hurt me.
The only reason why I write on this site is so that the people around me can understand a little bit of what it is like to lose a child, especially your one and only child, and how hard life has been for me as the mother. I guess what I am saying here and what I am asking of everyone is that if you have something to tell me and want to make a comment, please really think about what you are saying first before you write it as you never know how hurt someone may be by that comment. Thank you for your understanding everyone.
As a side note, due to what this person wrote as a comment, I have had to take away the ability to allow people to post comments annonomously. From now on, please become a follower of the site and then you will be able to make a comment on any post I make. I hope everyone understands.
I love you baby girl and mommy misses you very much.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mother's Day is Here
Well, it is officially Mother’s Day. A day of celebrating our mother’s or to be celebrated by our children. Today should be a day of utter happiness and excitement. To be remember for just being the women who are loved by those around us.
If Mari was here today she would not even understand what today was. Keith would be the one to go and get me a gift and say it was from Mari. Mari would just be her normal, everyday self not realizing that it’s a day to celebrate me. A day to say, “I love you mommy and I am so glad that God gave you to me.” She would never have understood the importance of today. Yet, me as her mommy, I was so incredibly gifted to have her in my life. She brought us so much pain and so much joy, so much heartache and so much sheer excitement. So much of just everything.
Mari had severe autism and yet somehow everyone she has ever touched in her life fell in love with her. No one could resist that beautiful smile.
I had a friend last night ask if I was going to visit her grave today. To be honest, I had not even thought about it. I just don’t know if that would help me today. To know she is not here is so unbearable sometimes. I just miss her so much. Yet we add the icing on the cake today and it is Mother’s Day. A day for her to remember me. Just a day to be remembered as mothers.
The realization sometimes that Mari is not longer here just seems like I am living a nightmare. I went to bed last night and said to myself, “Please let this all just be a bad nightmare and when I wake up in the morning let Mari be here.” Of course she was not but I hope for that all the time. Then today comes and it is all the more acute.
I just miss her so much. I love you baby girl.
If Mari was here today she would not even understand what today was. Keith would be the one to go and get me a gift and say it was from Mari. Mari would just be her normal, everyday self not realizing that it’s a day to celebrate me. A day to say, “I love you mommy and I am so glad that God gave you to me.” She would never have understood the importance of today. Yet, me as her mommy, I was so incredibly gifted to have her in my life. She brought us so much pain and so much joy, so much heartache and so much sheer excitement. So much of just everything.
Mari had severe autism and yet somehow everyone she has ever touched in her life fell in love with her. No one could resist that beautiful smile.
I had a friend last night ask if I was going to visit her grave today. To be honest, I had not even thought about it. I just don’t know if that would help me today. To know she is not here is so unbearable sometimes. I just miss her so much. Yet we add the icing on the cake today and it is Mother’s Day. A day for her to remember me. Just a day to be remembered as mothers.
The realization sometimes that Mari is not longer here just seems like I am living a nightmare. I went to bed last night and said to myself, “Please let this all just be a bad nightmare and when I wake up in the morning let Mari be here.” Of course she was not but I hope for that all the time. Then today comes and it is all the more acute.
I just miss her so much. I love you baby girl.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
It's coming...
I have really tried not to think about it. Yet it is coming. I don’t want it to come. Yet friends keep reminding me. I wish it would just go away. Yet I receive a letter in the mail to say I am being thought about during it.
MOTHER’S DAY!!
Mother’s Day is coming whether I want it to or not. It is supposed to be a time of celebration for being a mother. Our Mothers, Grandmothers, Great-Grandmothers, and sometimes even Great-Great-Grandmothers are all remember this day and celebrated as the ones we love.
Then there are those that are the mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, and great-great-grandmothers where it is our special day. It is the day created because we have the privilege of being mothers.
Then there are those mothers like myself that all this day will bring is utter sadness. It will not be a day of joy and celebration because my daughter was ripped from me. I am no longer a mother here on this earth. Yes, I am a mother of a child but that child is no here on this earth. She is up in heaven. Mari is gone.
All I get to do this day is remember that I no longer have my precious baby girl here on this earth with me. She is gone and yet I get the bittersweet memories of her being her just last year to now having her gone for this year. I wish it would just go away.
I know that Mother’s Day is a special day for mothers but I just wish it would not come this year. I probably wish it would permanently go away but no matter how much wishing I do I know it will continue to come every year anyway.
I miss you MarMar. I love you baby girl.
Then there are those that are the mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, and great-great-grandmothers where it is our special day. It is the day created because we have the privilege of being mothers.
Then there are those mothers like myself that all this day will bring is utter sadness. It will not be a day of joy and celebration because my daughter was ripped from me. I am no longer a mother here on this earth. Yes, I am a mother of a child but that child is no here on this earth. She is up in heaven. Mari is gone.
All I get to do this day is remember that I no longer have my precious baby girl here on this earth with me. She is gone and yet I get the bittersweet memories of her being her just last year to now having her gone for this year. I wish it would just go away.
I know that Mother’s Day is a special day for mothers but I just wish it would not come this year. I probably wish it would permanently go away but no matter how much wishing I do I know it will continue to come every year anyway.
I miss you MarMar. I love you baby girl.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Shopping...
Keith and I were just sitting here discussing how there is hardly any food in the house. I don’t do the grocery shopping like I used to any more. It’s typically just me at home in the house most of the time. Keith is at work ridiculously long hours Monday through Friday, and then sometimes even on Saturday, especially right now that he is acting first sergeant of his company while his first sergeant is off at first sergeant school. So, my line of thinking is why do we need that much food in the house all of the time if it is just me.
Then it got me to thinking about why don’t I go shopping more. I used to go shopping every two weeks when Keith would get paid. I would stock up on all the things we needed all the time. We always had a ton of food. It seems like we used to go through a minimum of 4 loaves of bread about every two weeks because Mari’s staple for at least one meal a day, sometimes two was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. We were always surprised at how she never got tired of them.
But now anytime I go into any store it seems like I can always find something that either reminds me of Mari or find something that I would have bought for her if she was still here. For example, going into Walgreens, I could find a toy from the movie “Cars” or maybe a DVD she would have liked. The grocery store is a little better but I hardly ever go to an actual grocery story. I typically just go to Target since they have a mini grocery store there, they just don’t have fresh fruits, veggies, or meats. It is a smaller selection but it works for us.
The problem with going into Target is you almost instantly run into the kids clothing department, or you go by the toy department, or the kids shoes, or even just see the DVD section with her favorite movies like “Cars.” It is always there where we go. It does not matter the store, it is just there. The reminders and things I would have bought for her.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a shop-a-holic (like someone who is an alcoholic only I have spending issues). I hardly go shopping now. It’s not that it is under control it is just that is it so hard to see everything that brings me to thinking about Mari. I don’t know when or if this will ever stop but I know as of right now it is still so fresh in my mind. She would probably be fitting fully into her size 7 clothes that had been almost too big for her last summer, and yet she never will now.
All I know is that I miss her so desperately. I love you baby girl.
Then it got me to thinking about why don’t I go shopping more. I used to go shopping every two weeks when Keith would get paid. I would stock up on all the things we needed all the time. We always had a ton of food. It seems like we used to go through a minimum of 4 loaves of bread about every two weeks because Mari’s staple for at least one meal a day, sometimes two was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. We were always surprised at how she never got tired of them.
But now anytime I go into any store it seems like I can always find something that either reminds me of Mari or find something that I would have bought for her if she was still here. For example, going into Walgreens, I could find a toy from the movie “Cars” or maybe a DVD she would have liked. The grocery store is a little better but I hardly ever go to an actual grocery story. I typically just go to Target since they have a mini grocery store there, they just don’t have fresh fruits, veggies, or meats. It is a smaller selection but it works for us.
The problem with going into Target is you almost instantly run into the kids clothing department, or you go by the toy department, or the kids shoes, or even just see the DVD section with her favorite movies like “Cars.” It is always there where we go. It does not matter the store, it is just there. The reminders and things I would have bought for her.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a shop-a-holic (like someone who is an alcoholic only I have spending issues). I hardly go shopping now. It’s not that it is under control it is just that is it so hard to see everything that brings me to thinking about Mari. I don’t know when or if this will ever stop but I know as of right now it is still so fresh in my mind. She would probably be fitting fully into her size 7 clothes that had been almost too big for her last summer, and yet she never will now.
All I know is that I miss her so desperately. I love you baby girl.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Pictures...
Today I sit here thinking about my wonderful husband. He has been my rock through all of this. He has been the one to help get me through. Keith has been my everything and I am sure he will continue to be for many years to come.
Today has been a good day for me. I have not cried and I have not felt as sad as I normally am. This is a good thing.
The two paragraphs above were written yesterday.
Pictures. All of a sudden I am sitting here thinking about pictures. I started to think about pictures because of my profile pictures I have on Facebook. I initially had a pictures of me, Keith and Mari together. Recently I changed it to a picture of just me. Then that got me to thinking. I was thinking about one of the last time I had had a picture taken of me by myself. It has been several years. Then I got to thinking about when that exactly was. I think the last time I had a professional picture taken of me by myself is before we had Mari. I would have our family picture done, but that only consisted of Keith and I. We would have a couple together and then we would have one done of each one of us by ourselves. I would always stick the one of us together in the middle and then our individual pictures on the other side. We have not done that in years.
With Mari, the focus has always been Mari. One time Keith and I took a picture of us together but we also had two family pictures and pictures of Mari by herself along with Keith and I each being alone with Mari.
Now we have to go back to having a family picture done of us just the two of us again. How does this seem right. It just doesn’t. I am at such a loss. I was sitting her playing on Facebook and just procrastinating on getting to my homework and then for some reason I started thinking about my profile pic.
I have had our family pictures done almost every year right around Christmas time so that I can send everyone an updated picture of us for the year. December 2007 we were moving and I just said we would do it next year. Now there is now next year. Mari is gone. Now we HAVE to go back to the way we used to do it. I cannot stand that.
I think when we go to get our first family picture done without Mari that I may bring a picture of her along with us as in my heart and my mind she will just be our little angel there with us. I just miss her so much. I love you baby girl.
Today has been a good day for me. I have not cried and I have not felt as sad as I normally am. This is a good thing.
The two paragraphs above were written yesterday.
Pictures. All of a sudden I am sitting here thinking about pictures. I started to think about pictures because of my profile pictures I have on Facebook. I initially had a pictures of me, Keith and Mari together. Recently I changed it to a picture of just me. Then that got me to thinking. I was thinking about one of the last time I had had a picture taken of me by myself. It has been several years. Then I got to thinking about when that exactly was. I think the last time I had a professional picture taken of me by myself is before we had Mari. I would have our family picture done, but that only consisted of Keith and I. We would have a couple together and then we would have one done of each one of us by ourselves. I would always stick the one of us together in the middle and then our individual pictures on the other side. We have not done that in years.
With Mari, the focus has always been Mari. One time Keith and I took a picture of us together but we also had two family pictures and pictures of Mari by herself along with Keith and I each being alone with Mari.
Now we have to go back to having a family picture done of us just the two of us again. How does this seem right. It just doesn’t. I am at such a loss. I was sitting her playing on Facebook and just procrastinating on getting to my homework and then for some reason I started thinking about my profile pic.
I have had our family pictures done almost every year right around Christmas time so that I can send everyone an updated picture of us for the year. December 2007 we were moving and I just said we would do it next year. Now there is now next year. Mari is gone. Now we HAVE to go back to the way we used to do it. I cannot stand that.
I think when we go to get our first family picture done without Mari that I may bring a picture of her along with us as in my heart and my mind she will just be our little angel there with us. I just miss her so much. I love you baby girl.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
I typically sit in my house during the day by myself, with no TV on or a radio playing in the background. It is just quiet (other than my puppy and kitty playing). But today I decided to open of Windows Media Center and play some of my songs. Then I go to thinking about Natalie Grant's song. My cousin Tracey had sent me her CD Awaken about two months after Mari had died and the song "Held" struck me right to the heart. These are the words, and to hear the song is even more powerful. I just thought I would like to share these words with you. The parts in [ ] I changed to fit what our situation was. Please let me know what you think of these words and if they had any effect on you like they did me.
Held
Two [weeks] is too little
They let [her] go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from [her] mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we’d be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We’re asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it’s unfair
CHORUS
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held
This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
CHORUS
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior
CHORUS
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held
Held
Two [weeks] is too little
They let [her] go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from [her] mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we’d be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We’re asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it’s unfair
CHORUS
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held
This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
CHORUS
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior
CHORUS
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We’d be held
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
How am I supposed to live my life without her?
How am I supposed to live my life without her? How am I supposed to? I sit here in complete confusion as to how I am supposed to do this. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I don’t understand. I just simply don’t understand. Mari is gone and yet I am still here. Mari is gone and yet I am just supposed to move on with my life. But Mari is gone. There is not an instruction manual on how to move on with your life once your one and only child is gone from it. I just don’t know how. I wish there was just some tried and true method that would just help you to get over your grief and despair but there isn’t. There is absolutely nothing else on the face of the planet, in this world, that can make this easier.
Time. Is time what is supposed to help me to heal? I seriously doubt it. Time has done nothing for me and I am sure it will continue to do nothing for me in the future. All time is doing is just having the days pass by. I guess you could say time is a stair case. It is a stair case that I climb each and every day. Sometimes the stairs are incredibly steep and narrow, and incredibly hard to climb. Whereas other days, the stairs are incredibly wide and almost flat. The steep and narrow stair days are the day I just don’t know how I am supposed to get through. They are the incredibly hard days or hard times, like what I am going through tonight just trying to go to sleep at 3 in the morning. The wide and flat days are my ok days. Those are the days I can put a smile on my face and not cry. Those are the days I am not thinking about Mari and how much I am missing her all the time. This stair case I am on is a climb I will be on until I die one day and the top of the stair is that day when I have finally reached the top where Mari is waiting for me at the very last stair. She is waiting there for me with open arms. But until that day I am incredibly sad.
It seems like almost every night I am thinking of my beautiful baby girl. Here lately it has been about her last few days on this earth, or the wake and/or the funeral. I just remember looking back at her funeral and realizing that I would never be able to see my little girl again. She is just gone. Yet I am still here to remember her while I am on this earth. How is this possible? It was just not supposed to happen this way. The order is so out of whack. No one is going to ever help me to understand why Mari was taken from me. NO ONE!!! It will never make sense. We try to make sense of loss like this, we as human beings, but there is nothing that makes sense when a mother (or a father) loses a child this early in life, or for that matter, the child dying before the parent does. NOTHING!!!
I sit here almost every night just wishing this was all a bad dream and that tomorrow morning I will be waking up and I will hear her sweet little voice singing in the monitor to wake me up like she had done for so many years. I miss that sweet little voice more than I ever thought humanly possible.
Time. Is time what is supposed to help me to heal? I seriously doubt it. Time has done nothing for me and I am sure it will continue to do nothing for me in the future. All time is doing is just having the days pass by. I guess you could say time is a stair case. It is a stair case that I climb each and every day. Sometimes the stairs are incredibly steep and narrow, and incredibly hard to climb. Whereas other days, the stairs are incredibly wide and almost flat. The steep and narrow stair days are the day I just don’t know how I am supposed to get through. They are the incredibly hard days or hard times, like what I am going through tonight just trying to go to sleep at 3 in the morning. The wide and flat days are my ok days. Those are the days I can put a smile on my face and not cry. Those are the days I am not thinking about Mari and how much I am missing her all the time. This stair case I am on is a climb I will be on until I die one day and the top of the stair is that day when I have finally reached the top where Mari is waiting for me at the very last stair. She is waiting there for me with open arms. But until that day I am incredibly sad.
It seems like almost every night I am thinking of my beautiful baby girl. Here lately it has been about her last few days on this earth, or the wake and/or the funeral. I just remember looking back at her funeral and realizing that I would never be able to see my little girl again. She is just gone. Yet I am still here to remember her while I am on this earth. How is this possible? It was just not supposed to happen this way. The order is so out of whack. No one is going to ever help me to understand why Mari was taken from me. NO ONE!!! It will never make sense. We try to make sense of loss like this, we as human beings, but there is nothing that makes sense when a mother (or a father) loses a child this early in life, or for that matter, the child dying before the parent does. NOTHING!!!
I sit here almost every night just wishing this was all a bad dream and that tomorrow morning I will be waking up and I will hear her sweet little voice singing in the monitor to wake me up like she had done for so many years. I miss that sweet little voice more than I ever thought humanly possible.
Tonight I sit here in my creative writing nonfiction class and I am having such a hard time concentrating. I just wish I had stayed home tonight instead of coming to class. I feel bad because I was not as prepared as I would normally have been. I had only fully read one of the two stories. I had only ready about the first third of the second story and about the last third. I briefly skimmed through the middle section. I felt totally unprepared when it came to the quiz tonight. He asked three questions from each story. I had the first three down without a problem because I had fully read the story. But that second one is what really had gotten me. The first question I got without a problem only because I felt fortunate enough that right before the quiz I had just flipped the middle part of the story and had read that part. But the second question, I just simply did not know. I didn’t know because I had not read that part. The third and final question I somewhat remember and I was glad I could get five out of the six correct. He only requires 5 correct questions when he asks these to get a 100%. I am just grateful for that.
In our class we are also supposed to workshop two students papers each week. Well, this week we were workshopping two of the professors papers. I felt terrible because I had not read his papers either. I sat here reading one of his essays but had not gotten to the other. When it came time to critique, of course the one I had not read yet is the one we were workshopping first. I was given grief over this but I said, “At least I did lie and say something about it when I had not read it.” I think being honest is more important than just worrying about saying something.
I am so glad this semester is almost over. I need it to be over. I have only class tomorrow, and then Monday and Wednesday of next week for my American Lit II class and my biology class, and then I only have one class left of creative writing after tonight. Then the following week is finals but I only have a final in American Lit class. I am just so glad this semester is basically done.
In our class we are also supposed to workshop two students papers each week. Well, this week we were workshopping two of the professors papers. I felt terrible because I had not read his papers either. I sat here reading one of his essays but had not gotten to the other. When it came time to critique, of course the one I had not read yet is the one we were workshopping first. I was given grief over this but I said, “At least I did lie and say something about it when I had not read it.” I think being honest is more important than just worrying about saying something.
I am so glad this semester is almost over. I need it to be over. I have only class tomorrow, and then Monday and Wednesday of next week for my American Lit II class and my biology class, and then I only have one class left of creative writing after tonight. Then the following week is finals but I only have a final in American Lit class. I am just so glad this semester is basically done.
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